I have made the biggest scientific discovery of this generation, it will change people's lives and it will affect the way we look at the world from now onwards. That's right, I have discovered a cure to the common cold!
Last week I developed said cold and its accompanying symptoms (headache, cough, the ability to solve the quadratic formula etc) but, the changing factor, after going out for a Costa Coffee with my friends and then having a curry, my cold has all but vanished! I HAVE CURED THE COLD! That's right, it has nothing to do with the fact that I have had the cold for a week now and it has probably run its course... noo, I cured it with a curry! Take that scientists! No more 'cold and flu remedies' all you need is a strong cuppa and a curry and you will be cured (you can thank me later by sending me 20 trillion pounds so I can buy a unicorn!)
In other words, I am a genius!